Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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