I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish i was in the wii world.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
