i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
