well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
