theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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