i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
