Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
