It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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