If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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