Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
