I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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