UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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