i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
