It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
