I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
