I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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