she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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