did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
