i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
