The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Randomize
