I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you.
Bad choice
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize