Well douche your snatch and let's go!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
