Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
