It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize