where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
