You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
