I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
