Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
