sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
my liver is dry heaving
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
