at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
