YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
