You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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