She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
