Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
