You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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