I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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