Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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