It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if only i could text you this smell
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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