I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
