Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
