just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Buhtt sex?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
