that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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