Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
