he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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