She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize