Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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