And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
