I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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