Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
