the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Couch. On fire.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize