its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
