I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
