Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
