I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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