idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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