Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
