bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
