Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
