Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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