Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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