Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
