I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
