theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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