What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My bed smells like the plague
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize