apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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