Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
