I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
