Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
