I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
